10. Watch Twilight

Twilight is one of the best stories I’ve ever read. Watching it would probably make me feel so much better. Besides, who could refuse a handsome guy like Robert Pattinson?

9. Watch many more K-Drama, J-drama, T-drama

I love these kinds of dramas. They make the world seem so easy. I guess this is why I love to spend time on it. Aside from inspirational, they’ve got this world where everything seems to be made for the characters. So easy. Unlike the real world where disappointments, heartaches and failures are real.

8. I want a plaid top..blue..or pink or yellow. I also want the plaid dress.

I’ve got a plaid top already. I like it. Pero it wasn’t what I expected. I still want my own collection of it. I want a dress. And I want more colors. I want the blue in Ms. Cherry’s album. I also want the red dress in Deity’s shop.

7. I want to learn French and Mandarin/Nihonggo

I’ve always wanted to learn a new language. I just think other languages are so creative and its really interesting. I want to learn French because it’s so romantic. Besides, I want to go to Paris someday. Mandarin because it’s a business language and also because I want to understand the K-dramas/J-dramas/T-dramas I watch. Same for Nihonggo..

6. I want to write a poem/story.

It’s been awhile since I’ve written. I miss it. Ever since I started a completely different path, I feel that it’s illegal morally to write. I miss it. It used to be my inner world, the world where I put in myself and I bring out my wants. I can’t seem to do it anymore.

5. I want to find a new inspiration.

Without inspiration, I can’t write. I need one. I just can’t seem to find enough drive to help me. Same for other things. I need something to inspire me well, to inspire me enough and help me get through this.

4. I want to earn money and finally get to start on my own designs

I envy Ruby. I really do. I want to be able to create my own designs. Have them made and then sell them. I want to draw my own designs. But I suck at drawing. It drives me crazy. Every time I see something I want to sell and have made, and I can’t, it kills.

3. I want to finally answer Mama’s email.

She’s sent at least 3 emails. I can’t reply. Because I have no reply. Simple as that. I don’t know what to say.

2. I want to go back to Papua New Guinea.

I want to go back where I started. Maybe take a breather, look around, gather inspiration. Find out what I want. PNG’s where my heart lays. No matter how much more developed Philippines is, or that I am a Filipina, and that I was born here, PNG’s where I began.

1. I want to get off the sofa, stop being a couch potato, find my way back to the world and stop avoiding the inevitable.

So true. Just can’t seem to find the drive to do it. I’m running out of time. And it sucks that up till now I still can’t face what’s happened.