So. I have this new collection of poetry. Well, technically, there’s only three, but I’m afraid it may not be the end of it…yet.

The Playboy poetry series is based on my unrequited love – just kidding.

It’s about a playboy (for the dummies, a guy who likes to play games with love and girls and relationships – guys who like to collect girls or date many at the same time. Playboys are highly popular during high school in the Philippines. I should know. I was a Playgirl) who makes this girl feel really special, no matter how afraid she is of love and commitment. The girl wants to take it slow so she doesn’t get hurt. But the fact is, he’s so charming that she realizes she may be falling a little too fast – and she can’t help herself.

Of course, of course, this series is based on my life and I probably am the girl (duh). But, the series is a little faster than it should be and I find myself very inspired by this playboy.

He really scares me and I really don’t want to fall – I have studies and graduating and work to focus on and I can’t possibly fit someone else in my schedule – especially someone that can actually make a great effect on my life and as a person.

I don’t think I’m in love yet. But he’s got a real chance with me, I’m not going to lie. The fact of the matter is, I know he’s a playboy and I know how they work and I know in the end, I’ll only get hurt. –Ooh! That rhymed! Lmao.

Anyway, so there’s this part of my brain saying that I should just leave and let him be, and then there’s this part of my brain that feels guilty because I haven’t even given him a chance.

I feel like Melinda Sordino in Speak or Peyton Sawyer in One Tree Hill, where my alter ego comes out and we fight over ourselves.

It’s like.

Me: Why should I give him a chance?

Me 2: Because he says he isn’t what others think of him.

Me: But what if he is?

Me 2: But what if he isn’t?

Me: I’m only going to get hurt.

Me 2: But you may find something else in him.

Me: Really? Who’s side are you really on?

Me 2: Your psychopathic side, biatch.

Okay, so that last part was just commercial. Still.

Who should I follow, my heart or my brain?

Because the last time I followed my heart, it got broken and I’m not sure how well it’s going to go this time.

Anyway. My next poems are expected to be part of this series.

I really hope I don’t get hurt. I don’t think I can handle school, OJT, work, worrying about paying my bills and my broken heart all at the same time.