Follower Count

Losing followers? Are you tired of logging in to twitter and finding out that you lost followers AGAIN? Don’t you hate staying up late just to watch your follower count go up and then in the morning you’re devastated to see that its gone down again? Or how about asking people to shout your username so that you can get some more followers and when you do you lose followers instead?

In Twitter, one of the best features is having followers. Followers are kind of like friends. These people read your tweets, think you’re interesting enough and start following you. Although it sounds a little creepy (followers? What is this? Some kind of Satanic group? No offense @Satan, lmao), it’s how Twitter goes. Having followers means there’ll be people to read your tweets, people to talk to and people you may learn things from. You’ll be able to have friends through your followers and you can meet people through your followers. These followers make you somewhat famous and I’m guessing that there are many people who’d like more followers and follow less because it makes them feel important. I’m not going to be a hypocrite, I’d like that as well, but of course, I’m not famous nor am I a celebrity, so like all others, I gotta work for my followers as well.

So how do you keep your followers? How do you keep them interested and following? How do you keep them from unfollowing you? No, no magic or any type of bots should be used, instead, there are 5 ways to keep them on your leash (sorry). I’m sure there are many more ways to keep followers but these 5 are based on own experience (thanks to all my followers, you rock, guys!)

1. Follow back.

First of all, you gotta get it into your head. You’re not a celebrity. You’re a low life- piece of scum – okay, I’m kidding, but you’re not a celebrity. Boo hoo. No matter how much that hurts, you gotta accept it! Maybe in the next lifetime… or maybe not. Maybe in your dreams. Maybe when Santa Claus comes bearing. But whenever it may be – it’s not right now. Or if it was, you wouldn’t be reading this. Anyway, enough of the sarcasm, didn’t mean to ruin your ego or burst your bubble and wake you from your dream. The best way to keep your followers is to follow back. Of course, why would anyone unfollow you if you’re following them back? Unless, they’re pathetic losers who follow and then unfollow until their profile looks like that of a celebrity (sorry, was I mean? Aww). Still, why would you unfollow when someone is following you? Who knows maybe when you unfollow and that person finds out, they’ll unfollow too. You lose a follower, they lose a follower, you’re both losers! Does that make sense? Whatever. This is the best way to keep followers.

2. Socialize

Yes, unfortunately, because you’re not a celebrity (hello, can I emphasize it anymore?), you’re not going to get any followers by not tweeting and not socializing. You have to get out there, talk to people, get to know them and learn more about them. Isn’t that why you joined Twitter in the first place? To get to know people? (Oh, don’t tell me it was to sell things! Or to tell everyone to look at your horny profile!). Anyway, you gotta know people, you gotta talk to them and you have to socialize because when people get to know you, they may rethink to unfollow you. Right? Right? Well, I guess that depends how nice you are. Or how bitchy. Or how cool. Or whatever.

3. Be Interesting

Socializing doesn’t really mean you’re interesting. You can socialize but you really have to be interesting. Interesting – some point of your tweets must be worth retweeting, whether it be quotes, your random rants, or whatever, it must be interesting. Seriously? Don’t keep tweeting about getting more followers, please, please, do not plead. It gets on everyone’s nerves. Right? Right? Well, it gets on my nerves. So please, do not keep 3 pages of your twitter’s profile about getting more followers. I’m not saying it’s bad to ask people to follow you. Neither am I saying that asking people for shoutouts and begging for help is wrong. I’m not saying that you shouldn’t ask people to follow back and get people to mention your name. Just don’t do it all the time. You will have followers. If you’re interesting enough. Tweet about everything and anything (stop offering horny profiles, social marketing bull and what not! Please, please!) Tweet interesting quotes, movie reviews, blog stuff, retweet quotes and whatsoever. Make your twitter something to look at and be interesting. If you’re interesting enough people will keep following and will rethink unfollowing.

4. Tweet

You won’t get followers if you don’t tweet! Duh? First class knowledge. You don’t have to tweet 50 times a day (okay, maybe you do. Just kidding), tweet at least 5 times a day. It’s not that hard. If it was, you wouldn’t even be on twitter. You shouldn’t even have signed up. Some people don’t like twitters that don’t have enough tweets. So if you don’t have tweets, people rethink following you and wouldn’t rethink unfollowing you.

5. Make sure none of your followers are spammers

Ahh. Xewhetijg, khgvei, bjveej, whore Shelly Ryan and the people offering whatsoever. Delete them ASAP. So you know the right amount of your followers and you won’t have to wonder why people unfollowed you. Most of the time, they don’t. Most of the time, it’s just Twitter clearance day! My favorite day. The day you know how many followers you really have and how many followers you have that are spam. Check your followers from time to time, especially after Follow Friday.

So that’s it. That’s how you keep your followers. What? That’s it, that’s all there is, what more do you want? A shoutout? You’re kidding right?
Just kidding. Follow me, guys.

Biyachessa

Go on, what are you waiting for? Follow me!