Queen Biyachessa

Tonight, December 31, 2008- January 1, 2009 was the first New Year I’ve had that was worth while. My mother was actually there, smiling and laughing with us. We sang karaoke and watched fireworks until around 3am. My dad and I went on a one on one with drinks again. I’m the strongest drinker in the family next to my dad and 4 years ago, we did the same one on one on New Years Eve, after he found out that I had learned how to drink and was drinking quite as much. Compared to the beer and the red wine we drank 4 years ago, our competition has arisen a notch. We drank Jack Daniels and Chivas Regal. My head was spinning and I was tempted to vomit at the smell of Jack Daniels but I couldn’t let my dad win. 4 years ago, he challenged me to the same one on one. And I could tell why. He wanted to know how far I could go with drinking. Lucky enough, I passed the test and we both surrendered when the bottle finished. This New Year was different. I think he was still testing me and at the same time, he wanted to prove how far I’ve gone with drinking. I wasn’t going to hide it though. I drink. A lot. I’m not an alcoholic but for a girl, I can handle myself pretty well when it comes to drinking a lot. So I kept with it. I drank, knowing he was there to watch. Until he grew sleepy and retired to his bedroom. I’m not sure how much I proved. But the liar I am, I really want to vomit. But vomiting would only make things worse. Just as long as I do not smell Jack Daniels, I’d be fine. For now.

I was reading around Friendster. A friend had commented on my site greeting me for Christmas. I always liked the girl and she was in the organization that I had workshopped 2 years ago. I checked into her site and began going through her pictures. The girl was really pretty and she kind of looked like KC Concepcion and apparently, she was in love with a guy that didn’t look that handsome (no offense). I’ve seen her pictures before and it always made me admire her for not looking for guys who were handsome and all that. I mean it, she had pictures, some edited with praises of how much she loved her boyfriend, how she wanted to be with him forever. I looked through most her pictures. Okay, that was a little secretive, I was jealous of her. I mean by the fact that she had someone she loved that deeply.

Then I saw it. It was a picture of her boyfriend, standing alone. Like I said, the guy wasn’t very handsome nor was he much charming. I don’t know what she saw in him, but I’m not one to judge much, except I just did, but only physically. I really do admire her for loving beyond looks. Aside from that, I didn’t really care. Still, it was there, below the picture, was a comment.

It read, “you deserve someone better.”

I was amused. I’m not going to be much of a hypocrite here, nowadays it seemed physical appearance is an important thing too. But I didn’t think anyone would really tell that to her in such a public place. Besides, he doesn’t even know the guy, so how would he know the girl deserves someone better?

What would make someone deserve another person? I mean, is there criteria, or a step by step formula that creates how a person can deserve someone else? I don’t know how their relationship goes, because for all I know, the guy could be maltreating the girl and the person who commented was just a friend who knew a lot. Still, it made me think. What about for other people?

If the comment was created just because of the guy’s looks, then the person, who commented on her page, was totally shallow. I wouldn’t want to be with a guy like that. If a person can prejudge someone so easily just by the physical appearance through a picture, then that person is as skin-deep shallow. I wouldn’t want to date a guy like that.

It’s sad when relationships end. It’s not inevitable. No matter how much a person may love the other, there is an end to some things. It’s sad. But it happens. Sometimes you feel like you’re in a relationship that just goes round and round and round and it never ends. It’s not a good feeling. And trust me, you wouldn’t want to try that feeling. So what are 5 signs that your relationship may be over?

1. Awkward Moments

Moments like these often start happening when one has started to feel different for his/her partner. Most of the time it happens after a huge fight, or after an unexpected event happens. In the same way that 2 friends would have awkward moments when they fall in love, couples who fall out of love, also experience this. They’re not sure yet, and sometimes they don’t even know it, but falling out of love can’t be controlled. Awkward moments happen especially when suddenly you can’t return the same hug he/she is giving you. Sometimes, it’s a warning sign. And sometimes, it’s just really over.

2. Pulling away

Couples tend to pull away when their guilt of not returning the same feelings come to mind. The guilt of hugging someone, kissing someone, leading them on when one doesn’t have the same feelings anymore can be overwhelming and can cause one to start pulling away. Then, this guilt makes one want to avoid being with the other because he/she won’t want to feel the same overwhelming guilt again.

3. Silent Fights

Silent fights are awkward moments that got out of hand. It’s not that something went wrong, it’s just that nothing feels right anymore and although most of the time, only one person in a relationship sends out that signal, the other is human to feel it. Silent fights cause the questions: “Are you mad? Did I say something wrong?” and the answers, “No, I’m not mad,” and even sometimes, “I’m just tired,”

4. Less communication

This happens when guilt and pulling away happens. They don’t forget to call. They’re not too busy to call. They don’t want to. Because if they do, they might have to lie to explain, or they might have to lie so not to hurt their partners. Communication will happen if one really wants to communicate with the other. It’s not easy, and many people have flaws, but having less communication makes two people grow apart. And sometimes, too far apart that a relationship can’t mend anymore.

5. Distraction

Also caused by guilt, one becomes easily distracted even when he/she is with the person he/she is with. Games, study hours, gimiks or social hours that never used to interest a person may seem more appealing than lying and feeling guilty about being with someone. This is a huge warning sign. Although your partner isn’t saying anything, maybe it’s time you should be ready for consequences. And maybe, it’s time to ask your partner what’s going on. Remember, your partner is not the only one whose heart is on the line.

Relationships are hard to handle. When things end, sometimes they just do. One must learn to take care of his/her heart. Watch for these signs. When you see them, it’s time to heave your heels up and keep a look out. Be ready and always remember to be strong for yourself. Losing someone is hard. But losing yourself because you lost someone can be even harder.

It’s always been a wonder to everyone who should have the upper hand in relationships. Should it be the man because he’s the man and men are usually the controlling people, or should it be the women because after all, they’re the vulnerable ones, with their fragile heart and their ability to reproduce?

It’s hard to choose, because sometimes both partners have the same personality making them both clash between wanting to be together and sometimes, wanting to kill each other. And why should the other overrule his/her partner? These are some questions I always had to fight for in a relationship. I wanted the ruling part. Although, of course, boastful enough, most of the people I got involved in were totally cool with that. But what about the people who aren’t? It would cause endless fights, regretful throwbacks and comments, hurtful walk outs and a relationship that would seem to just go around in circles.

So what gives a person a right to rule over the other?

In any case, I think compromise could better make a relationship work. Surely there will be times that one would rule the other, but it’s always been the definition of a relationship to compromise with one another to make it work. Yes, both partners have reasons to rule the relationship; the men will be the structure of a family and will always be the social rock of a relationship, whilst the women will always be the mothers of children and will always bear vulnerability, but in the end, one’s pride must be settled to make decisions, communication must be practiced for both parties and then, in the end, it doesn’t really matter anymore who should have the upper hand. After all, it takes two to tango.

The right to rule over the other would probably depend on the relationship and the type of personalities both have. It is up to their relationship and communication to whoever should have the upper hand. And maybe I’ve used the wrong word; “rights” should probably be “choice” because it is their choice to whatever they must do to fight for their relationship. So why fight for an upper hand when you can fight to compromise and make the relationship a challenging but worthwhile partnership of two people who may be different but love each other enough to compromise? It just takes a moment to remember: what would hurt to lose more; your pride, or the love of your life?

It’s not the upper hand that matters but how both partners take turns in automatically taking and giving the upper hand and how they compromise their pride for a better relationship.

Rate: 10/10

Director: George Wolfe

Cast:

Richard Gere as Paul

Diane Lane as Adrienne

Can Nicholas Sparks be any more crueler? This is my 2^nd movie of his book (1^st was A Walk to Remember) and though I totally love him for writing it, and though I totally adore him for the plot and the whole love story, I really hate him for turning me into a tear-jerker. Did he really have to kill Paul in the end? Oh right, just like Jamie in A Walk to Remember.

Nicholas Sparks has done it again.

1. Richard Gere is growing old. Yet, he still has that same charm he had when I first saw him in… well, I forgot when I first saw him. But he’s still the same great actor, he holds himself, he did well.
2. Diane Lane. Although, I don’t remember where I first saw her, she’s great. I cried in the end. She’s a good actress. She brings in good emotion and I really felt for her and I hated Nicholas Sparks for killing her happiness like that.
3. It’s by Nicholas Sparks. Come on. The master of such tear-jerkers. I love him. Totally.
4. It’s a very inspiring, very sweet and romantic love story. It has a good plotline, it was real and it was sad.

I recommend this movie for everyone who loves romantic movies, love stories and anyone who wants to cry.

Nights in Rodanthe

Beautiful movie, beautiful story.